New years can make you start reminiscing. I like to pray for God to open my eyes to things that worked and didn’t work in years past. This year, He reminded me of my ‘why’ with this blog. More like HIS WHY. Read about how God used a movie to bring a couple closer to Him, and how it inspired the creation of this blog.
This year, my husband and I are celebrating 20 years of marriage and 21 years together. Seems like yesterday we had our ceremony. It wasn’t until our mid-30’s that God brought us together and it was abundantly clear to us that God was all over, and in, our relationship.
The Story of Two Imperfect People
There was only one problem: we were imperfect people (as we all are) coming together to be one. Like any married couple, life brings both blessings and heartache. The possibility of being hurt or hurting your spouse cannot be avoided. Every once in a while, something we say or do can cause someone to feel hurt. Even if it is unintentional.
When we were married, the verse from Ecclesiastes, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” became central to our commitment to each other. We always believed that if we looked to God, even the hardest times would pass. (I am not speaking about staying in an abusive relationship. That is a completely different and dangerous situation. If you are in one, please seek help!) I am talking about anything else that might arise in a relationship. Even though we both believed and had faith, were we truly walking with God the way He intended, and were we treating each other as His most treasured children? I would say no.
Life Happens
During our relationship, we were blessed with two beautiful children. To this day, they amaze us with their understanding of who God is and what place He should have in their lives. If only we were always like that, how Jesus told us to be. To have childlike faith. Not childish, but childlike. There is a big difference. What would happen if we believed with such faith? What could that do in our lives? Now that they are teenagers, we see the fruit of that type of faith. They understand that even more now than they did back then. It took a long time for us to get it.
At one time we thought that having children, having a house, and having a job would be enough. But it wasn’t. We yearned for more. The heartache continued. We kept searching for what would make us happy. Although we never left each other’s presence, we emotionally disconnected from each other – until God intervened.
How God Used a Movie
One day, we sat down and decided to watch a movie together. That movie was Fireproof. The fact we were willing to watch it, knowing what it was about, was clearly a move of Holy Spirit. Wow. Smacked in the head big time by God. What were we doing? We both loved each other so much and vowed to never leave, but had we already left? Maybe not the house. Had we “checked out”? Absolutely. As difficult as it was, we continued to watch the movie and with each new scene, we found ourselves identifying more and more with the characters. These questions raced through our minds:
Have I been acting like that?
Was I thinking like that?
Was I making him/her feel that way?
The scenes in our lives were different from the characters, but the feelings were the same. The reality was that the main cord that held these two imperfect people together was not treated with the respect that it deserved. The respect He deserved. We kept trying to fix things on our own, having talks over and over, rehashing the same hurts and ending up in the same place. Feeling lost, hurt and alone. Are you there right now? I can tell you from experience. There is hope and He is Jesus.
We had committed to each other, but more importantly to God. How could we expect Him to bless our marriage if we weren’t focusing on growing closer to Him?
A Verse from a Song
I would listen to the song “Love is Not a Fight” by Warren Barfield from the Fireproof soundtrack over and over. Something resonated with me, deep within my heart and my soul. Every time he got to the verse, “May God send angels to guard the door…“, It gave me chills. I knew deep in my spirit that God had done that for me and my husband.
But how did God send angels to “guard the door”? Some days it was His spirit in BOTH of us telling us to never walk out of a disagreement. Maybe it was looking into our children’s eyes and BOTH of us realizing there was more at stake than our hurt egos and feelings. Maybe it was a person who spoke words of encouragement to us. Or maybe, just maybe, it was a movie and a song. How it happened, doesn’t matter. What matters is that God promised us a future and knew the plans for us. Our favorite family verse is Jeremiah 29:11 which speaks to this. If we continue to look up and let Him lead, He will take us where we are meant to be. His plans are always better than our own.
So, who brought me here and directed me to start this blog in the first place? God. The One who led me here. Who led my husband and I back to a relationship that was rooted in Him. He died for people like us, who mess up all the time and yet, He loves us and will never leave.
When He Speaks, Obey
When I first started this blog, it was called Guard the Door, for obvious reasons. As our family grew in our faith and continued to step out into what He wanted for us, our lives began to change. We became a homeschooling family. My blog was re-branded to reflect the new niche. It always felt off, but I couldn’t figure out why. I loved sharing everything about homeschooling, travel, and life, but the truth was, He wasn’t the center.
But as is always the case with God, He is faithful. He kept this blog alive even when I was just about to give up. When I had no words and was not posting, people were still visiting and reading what was on it. Now, as we near the end of our homeschooling experience (our son is in 11th and our daughter is in 10th) and we are at a milestone in our marriage, He has shown me that I need to share what was most meaningful in my life. My love for Jesus and then everything else.
The Future is Clear
Don’t get me wrong, there have been many missteps along the way, but He has always provided and has always been there. Individually and as a couple, we are so far from where we were even when this blog was first started. I am so grateful. Sometimes I look back and just smile because He was always there. Even when we didn’t feel His presence because we blocked Him out. He was and still is the center cord that was always there. We just had to find our way back to Him.
I want to take a moment to acknowledge and thank my husband. He has ALWAYS supported me along this journey, even in the valleys, he believed in me, and that means more than he will ever know. It may not have felt that way at times, but deep down, I did know that truth.
It is my sincere hope and prayer that something you read on my blog will resonate with you. Whether it is a post on faith, family, or fun times, I hope you find value in it. Ultimately, I would love for you to leave my blog with more hope and knowing that God loves you more than you know, even if your feelings tell you otherwise.
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Be Blessed Always!
